Results tagged ‘ Dodgers ’
The Truth — Revealed!
I have two shocking truths to reveal to MLBlog nation this afternoon. I’ll just launch right into the first one, one that involves a key free agent of this offseason — Mr. Manny Ramirez.
Here is my theory as to why he will not become the selfish man-child of old should he sign with the Yankees — except when we’re in Boston.
You remember the mystery of Manny’s secret room in the Green Monster? Some may say it’s just a normal room, they’ve seen the inside of it, but my theory is this: It is secretly his portal to Narnia, and he’s the only one who knows how to get there.
No, little English children do not, in fact, rule Narnia. It is Manny Ramirez who goes into his secret room and rules for many thousands of years. When he comes out, mere minutes have passed on this earth. However, he has forgotten how to play baseball in his thousands of years in Narnia. This explains his crazy behavior. Someone knows about this other than him, and they remind him how to play baseball. He realizes he has mad skills, and he is happy making millions of dollars doing something that comes naturally to him.
Happy Manny is Good Manny.
However, he is drawn back to Narnia. He wants to rule again. So he does. It’s usually after games, but a few times he can’t stand it and goes back to it in the middle of the game. Once, he had to rush back out, and there was only time to tell him to catch the ball. Manny obeyed, and I’ve just explained the formerly inexplicable: His diving cutoff of Johnny Damon’s throw. You remember that, correct?
Anyway, about a quarter of the way through this season, Narnia was taken over by the White Witch (the evil one, you remember?).
This, naturally, didn’t sit well with Mr. Manny.
He was so unhappy he couldn’t cheer himself up with baseball anymore. He was tired of it, and everyone in Boston got angry about it. He requested a trade so that he wouldn’t be drawn back to Narnia. So he went to the Dodgers.
Finally happy, he led the Dodgers to the playoffs. So now, as long as we’re not in Boston, Manny will be a good leftfielder. Thank you for listening.
I have one more shocking truth. I present: What REALLY happened to Plaxico Burress.
Thank you and good night.
Much Happened Since I Last Posted
I don’t need to report that the Yankees signed AJ Burnett to go along with their new ace, Carsten something or other. However, they did introduce these new aces to the New York media Thursday.
First they had a press conference. The boys look good in pinstripes.
Then they got a tour of their new stomping grounds.
On the other side of town, lost among all this hoopla, the Mets introduced their new setup man, making it so CC, AJ, and JJ were all introduced in New York on the same day.
Also (I’m not sure if it was the same day), Cleveland introduced their newest closer, Kerry Wood, who had one good season closing and 9 injury wracked ones with the Cubs.
So it was a huge day for pitching help, and the focus shifted over to sluggers, namely Manny and Tex.
The Yankees could reportedly “go hard” after Manny if they can’t get Teixeira. Good that he’s a fallback option.
It looked like he would be our slugging option, the only one left, at one point.
Teixeira was “pounding out the last details” of a deal with the Red Sox one day, the next, it was dead, and the Red Sox were “no longer a factor”. Hooray for that.
Also, we’re reportedly keeping the Melkmam for now. The Mike Cameron trade is dead. I am pretty neutral toward this, but by Jane Heller’s recent post, and the comments on it, I have realized that some–many–Yankee fans have developed a fondness for Melky that I never had. I mean, I like the guy, he has a cool name, and he’s best friends with my favorite player, he just never really enchanted me. Oh well.
The biggest middle infield prize still on the market re-signed with the Dodgers, after making a verbal agreement with his former team, the Braves. His agents had their actions called “despicable” by the Braves’ John Schuerholz (I probably spelled that wrong). I really don’t care about this, so I don’t bother to write more.
Sorry about my spotty posting lately, but finals week is TOUGH. Anyway, it’s winter break, and I’ll be back to my regular posting now.
We musn’t forget about one man still waiting in the wings for an offer, a man who is an excellent baseball player with an injury history. There doesn’t seem to be much competition, so I say snatch him up. He would look excellent in Yankee stripes…
Much News, But Nothing Really Big…
The biggest news may be the National League MVP, winning his second, Jose Alberto Pujols.
I think he deserved it, but he didn’t seem to get a ton of recognition for his godly season. He hit .357, boosting his career average to .334. He hit 37 homers, surpassing 300 on his 8 year career, and will pass 1,000 RBIs next year. He also scored 1 more run than last year, bouncing back from his first sub-100 run season, with 99 in ’07. Is he headed for the Hall Of Fame? Tell me your opinion.
Secondly, apparently there are ”nine or 10″ teams interested in Rafael Furcal.
As it said on mlb.com, the A’s and Giants are after the shortstop. So are the Dodgers (well, yeah) and Cardinals, but those are the only ones specified. So, after his fluky .366 average in 32 games before missing most of the season, do you think the four years and $10 million a year he’s asking is too much, or too big a risk.
Third, it was announced today that the Yankees would open the new Yankee Stadium versus the Cubs in a pair of exhibition games on the 3rd and 4th of April.
Since there is nothing really controversial about this (I think it’s cool), I don’t have a question for you about it.
Finally, I’ve seen murmurs of a weird trade going down.
Dontrelle Willis for Julio Lugo? Two bad contracts for each other? What do you think of this? It’s a terrifying thought the Red Sox are clearing up the shortstop position for Mike Lowell or Kevin Youkilis, so first base is open for M-M-Mark T-T-Te- No! Don’t jinx it! Tell me what you think.
mlblogsnewmexicanyanksfan
Recent Comments